It is normal and an instinct in us to dream about the perfect person for us. Sometimes we even fantasize about a prince or princess partner, wishing that day comes when we will live in our own palace, wanting to live happily ever after. The desire that our life be perfect often means we want to have a successful career, marry the perfect man or woman and have beautiful children. This seems to be the dream of many people. The least choices appear to be living life as a single person or entering into religious life.
It is when we are at the right age and maturity to handle the big decisions in our life that we are really ready to face the consequences of our decisions. As we grow in wisdom, our values changes. Our choices in life have also changed. We may follow what is the best way or path that we think is suitable for us and so that is what we want to pursue in life. The life we have can be different to that which we dreamed – those dreams recede into the background or disappear.
Within myself, I once had a simple dream. I dreamed of marrying the perfect guy, with a simple wedding in the Church, and to have a big happy family with many children. I wanted to live in a quiet remote village in the Philippines, surrounded by a green environment and a big farm – so I dreamed, then, that my husband would have been a farmer. Why a farmer? Because for me, he would provide our daily food and we would never go hungry. I presumed that he would be a good person, down to earth, industrious, and one who would take care of and love me and our children. He would be a God-fearing man, kindhearted, family-oriented, a handyman and simple in many things. This was my girly dream for what I wanted in my future.
Yes, at the time, I did also have the thought and desire to become a religious sister but the likelihood of this happening was only ever very slim because I had never encountered any nuns where I lived. However, the fate of my life changed when that big decision did come along in my life and I answered the call to religious life. I intensely felt that I wanted to be one amongst those who were religious sisters. To this day, I do not regret my decision. I am happy about my chosen vocation in life.
Analyzing all of these dreams to have a farmer husband, with all those requirements, I find that what I desired is still true in the way I interpret my life now. I have offered my life to a perfect lover of all. He is the Master of the Harvest, the big harvest that He loves to take care of. He is not the God-fearing man that I dreamed of. He is God Himself – Jesus, the lovable man and source of all love, who has chosen me to be His spiritual bride. As I had dreamed of a wedding, so I had one in the form of a religious spiritual wedding in the Church attended by my immediate family and other relatives, friends, and the Sisters. These became my big family. It is a Religious Family of the congregation of the Daughters of Divine Zeal where I belong now and the big family I longed for has included the many children that I have taught at schools, and the female orphans that I have helped to guide and care for in our orphanages. Even though they were not my biological children I still experienced what it was to be a mother, a big sister and a friend to them. O what a blessing it is to be a spiritual guide and mother to these children.
I thank God because He never leaves me alone and empty handed. The outpouring of grace upon grace that I have received is enough to sustain my daily journey. He is there abiding by my side, giving me inspiration to persevere in this kind of life. I deeply feel in my heart, His love and care for who I am. All through these years He has been loving me, and I know that He still loves me to this day. His being faithful to me has made me faithful to Him. I claim Him as a perfect lover whose Heart loves all. He lets me grow to live this life meaningfully. I am still growing and learning through loving Him. Yes, until now, my being with the Perfect One, a Perfect friend and my Mr. Right, keeps challenging me to live this life filled with faith, hope and love.
The following song gives me a sense and inspired feeling of being serenaded by God, who has loved me all through these years. I cannot see Him but I do feel Him inside my heart as He stays there. I feel great every time I think about Him and pray with Him. I am very grateful for Him in my life.