Before the acceptance to the postulancy, we were given the time to reflect and to discern well through a one-week retreat. I spent this time reflecting on how, after several years of journey in the stage of aspirancy, with the help of the Lord, our Blessed Mother, the Guardian angels, all the saints and of course all my formators (for I had several of them), I was able to discover many things which were of great help to me in my spiritual journey.
After all these years, there is still doubt within myself whether or not this life is for me, because when I look back at my vocation journey, I feel there is no pure intention because I just like the sisters and I want to become like them. Scriptures say “You did not choose me, but I chose you” (Jn.15:15). Upon reflecting on this verse I sometimes ask myself “am I chosen by God or am I the one who wanted it?” While meditating upon it again, I remember the familiar words that strengthen me – Jesus said “courage, don’t be afraid, it is I”. I now realize that it is not me who wanted this but that it is He, who is the light and the truth, who leads me because he has plans for my life. Therefore, with my faith and trust in Him, I decided to continue to the next step of formation which is postulancy.
Last December four of us – Hao, Flor, Linh and myself – were accepted to the postulancy in Navotas, Philippines. I was so happy and thankful for the Lord’s guiding love. Likewise I ask the Lord to continue to lead me and to grant me the grace so that I may be able to faithfully go on with my journey.