Nothing is so sweet that you will never desire anything other than to utter “Yes” once again to the faithful God who never tires to love me unconditionally. I ask myself: Does my saying “Yes” connote something? Is my “Yes” enough to satisfy that deep longing to be with my God? Is my state of life still relevant to the world? What I am trying to renew by the way? If living one’s life seems meaningless and if my existence is irrelevant why should I renew? And yet I cannot deny that deep desire in my heart to still remain in the love of God who chose me to continue my journey, despite my own human frailty.
There is one thing that I am sure of: my faith leads me to affirm my commitment to once again say “Yes” to God, no matter how difficult my journey may be. I believe that God’s grace is abundant, overflowing and is never lacking. What seems to be blurred is clarified by the love of God, who sustains me day by day. I begin to wonder if Mother Madre Nazarena, who said the very first time she visited the slum of Avignone in Italy and when meeting Father Annibale: “if Jesus is here, we have everything”, what then should I ask for in life if I have already found God who is really dwelling here with me and in me? Nothing… but to long and aspire more to be near Him and to contemplate His face.
There is no sweeter and greater thing in life for me than to be with my beloved who is Christ. What sustains me to affirm my “Yes”, to continue my journey? It is so simple. I believe God loves me. He called me to be part of His beautiful mosaic masterpiece where nobody can ever replace my part. If I quit, one part is would be missing and this would defeat His purpose to share the joy and the beauty that the whole work would portray.
Sr Lillette Marie V Naquita, fdz